Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
