you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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