Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
