It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
