the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
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He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
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Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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