My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
