playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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