super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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