I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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