My Higher Power is John Stamos
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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