Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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