Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I could have mohawked her pubes.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
