Tell her she can't have a vagina
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
