I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
