his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I feel like death gave me a hand job
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
