Can i not drive my cunt home
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
