pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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