And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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