Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
