hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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