my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
