Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize