In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
