So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
