would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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