I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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