I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
