My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
