you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
