Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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