Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
