Your dad touched me again.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize