this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
that's an acceptable place to lick
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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