My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
