I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
