He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
