She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
