Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
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