she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
