he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
