Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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