awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
