After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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