My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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