Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
false alarm. still invincible.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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