woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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