Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
