rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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