i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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