New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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