is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I need water and some morals
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
