I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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