just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
