I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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