did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
