It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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