He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
