just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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