I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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