he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
