I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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