I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
