I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
