i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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